For Aylan

There is a crisis happening in our world.  It's been going on for awhile and sadly . . . shamefully . . . until today I was able to ignore it.  I didn't ignore it completely, I saw glimpses of articles and felt sad, felt angry, maybe said a prayer.  For a moment.  And then I moved on and the sweeping business of life wiped the thoughts from my head as I bought school supplies and browsed Costco.

We have that luxury here.  The ability to live in a bubble of privilege and abundance and not notice, not be aware of the atrocities happening elsewhere.  I say that not as a reprimand, but as a confession.

Today, however, today I saw for the first time a picture of a tiny 3 year old boy washed up on the shores of Turkey and I was disturbed.   And we should be.   His name is Aylan and he drowned fleeing Syria.  The number of people displaced in Syria is estimated to be around 11 million, half of which are children. People are dying. By the hundreds, thousands.  It is being called the worst humanitarian crisis since World War II.  I saw that picture of Aylan, one little boy representative of so many others and I couldn't click past it with a sigh and a prayer.  Because although I absolutely believe in a God who hears and answers prayer, and think that is a necessary response, I also believe He wants to use us, to use me to move and make a difference.

Here is the thing.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know what my response should be.  I don't have millions or political influence.  I'm not sure how to help.  But I do know that Aylan...the three year old little boy...it could have been Kyler or Carson, and instead of fleeing for our lives we are signing up for boy scouts and soccer and just picked up pizza for dinner.  Because we were born here and he was born there.

There are people across the world suffering and dying and I can not sit silent.  I don't know what to do but I know the answer is not: nothing.  The answer is not to click past and forget.  The picture of sweet Aylan is disturbing and it's time to be disturbed.  To be moved.  Moved to action.

Ann Voskamp does a fabulous job giving some ideas on her blog.  I recommend you click that link and read through what she has to say...

I am going to spend time tonight reading and researching more and deciding how our family can help.  Because we cannot save them all and we can't help Aylan now.  But we also can not do nothing.

Post Surgery Update

It has been a long LONG time since I sat down to blog.  But we've had so many wonderful people wanting updates on Conor and it's so hard to keep up and get the information out so I thought we'd breathe some new life into this stale old thing.  At least for the day.

Last week, Conor had what is called a corneal DSAEK - which stands for Descemet's Stripping Automated Endothelial Keratoplasty.  Clearer now? Ha.  Basically, his cornea is damaged and instead of doing a corneal transplant they are only removing part of his cornea and inserting donor corneal cells over the damaged area to resurface the cornea. And now you understand it as well as I do.

The doctor was upfront about the fact that this would be a risky surgery for Conor and that the 5% of his remaining optic nerve would be put at risk and vision in that eye could be compromised even if the surgery went well.  The fact is, however, that he has had so many surgeries and every surgery is risky and we live under the reality that his vision could be compromised at any time by his glaucoma.  For most people losing vision in one eye is frustrating but not incredibly limiting, but for Conor because of his already reduced vision, losing one eye would mean the loss of a good bit of freedom.  So we just spent a lot of time praying and asking a few close to us to pray as well.

Surgery went well and the graft was attached the next day so we drove home encouraged and I posted this facebook update:

After a battle with some fire ants IN my house on Sunday night (Seriously.  So far from okay.) and a late night run to Walmart for ant killer.  We got the big kids ready for school Monday morning and handed off the preschooler to grandparents then left for Conor's follow up - 3 1/2 hours away - with the baby in tow.

We arrived right on time for his appointment and Evelyn smiled and babbled at all the people in the waiting room.  She was seriously in heaven.  Dozens of sweet seniors (since we are always the youngest in the waiting room by at least 30 years) smiling and talking to her.  I really am so thankful for her easygoing personality (for now).  God knew it was time for one of those in this family.

Long story short - his graft had come detached and what was supposed to be an easy follow up turned into a brisk walk across the hall for yet another surgical procedure (this time with no valium) and then a full day of follow up (6 hours of the same tiny waiting room), a last minute hotel room, and back for more follow up the next day.  It's never a good sign when the doctor hands you his personal cell phone number and tells you to call him if you wake up at any point in the night with excruciating pain.

naps

Seriously. This kid rolled with it like a champ.

waiting waiting waiting

Grandparents jumped into action and all kept functioning at home.  Carson DID go to preschool in his sister's boots since every. pair. of shoes he owns were in our van with us(oops).  But other than that everything ran smoothly on the home front while we hunkered down in Houston for an unexpected getaway.

At this  point his graft seems to be attached again and we're waiting for a follow up this afternoon to hear more.  The doctor is cautiously optimistic and so are we.

It is no coincidence that Conor has been scheduled for months to preach this week.  We are going through a series called 'God Never Said That' and he is preaching on the oft quoted: 'God won't give you more than you can Handle'  I love it. :)

So now we wait, with another follow up happening in a few short hours.  Yes, we hope he maintains his vision in that eye, and yes we are praying all goes well, but we know and firmly believe that no matter what happens...our God is with us and is working out His plan for His best for Conor -whatever that is.  So, in an effort to give thanks in all things.  Here is  (part of) our thankful list for this week.

1. Healthy eyes for our kids and even though Kyler has glaucoma, his prognosis is nothing like his dad's.
2. When our car battery died on Sunday there were helpful, capable people around to help (both times).
3. The battery was under warranty so was replaced for free.
4. The battery died on Sunday so that we had a fresh one for our trip to Houston on Monday.
5. The very best doctors and sweet sweet nurses.
6. This is only one eye, lost vision would mean losing some freedom, but not all.
7.  It's only an eye.  Not a heart or a brain or something else necessary for life.
8. An easygoing baby who is a champion nurser and sleeper and such a trooper with all the road tripping.  (Seriously. This makes me weepy, because if all this started happening before she came along we would have likely decided 3 was enough and would have missed out on this precious little one.  God is so good.)
9. Friends and Grandparents to help. And help some more. :)
10. A God who loves us and is working out His best for His glory and we can truly, fully trust Him with that.
11. Nearby hotels with free parking and in-house restaurants and available rooms at the last minute.
12. A graft that *seems* to be sticking so far.
13. Olive Garden to Go.

So So many more.  We appreciate your prayers going forward into these next couple days.  That the graft sticks, that pest control would get rid of the fire ants :), and that the peace He has given us through this process would continue.

With Love and Thankfulness
Candy & Conor

9/2/15 appt UPDATE: The graft is sticking and looks great!  Thank you all for your prayers!