3 kids in 38 months. Is it what we planned? Nope. I distinctly remember a conversation with a friend who loves having her kids so close in age and smiling and listening to her talk about how wonderful it is and thinking in my head. "Nope, that's not for me." I love the baby stage. Love it. I wanted to spread our kids out so that I could fully enjoy and cherish each and every moment and stage of each child. Make sure everything was manageable and still keep my house clean and stay involved in adult activities and relationships.
It's funny now when I remember how much time I spent thinking about what the perfect family dynamic would be and exactly how far apart I wanted my kids and how many I wanted and even which gender should come first....
So much pride. Thinking I knew what was best for our little family. Forgetting that the One who knows the end of the story...I should really leave that kind of planning to Him. Sure there's wisdom in planning, but sometimes I hold on to those plans with white-knuckled fists. And He smiles and slowly loosens my grasp finger by finger . . . because He loves me. And He has better plans...
And I whine about how crazy my days are and how little sleep I get sometimes and how hard it is to get to know people when you can barely finish a sentence...And when I hear the "you have your hands full" about 8 times a day...and when I crash into the couch in my toy-covered living room after bedtime...
Children are a blessing.
And it is hard. Really hard and now that the baby is 13 months old I'm just starting to get close to feeling in control most days again.
I am so thankful that in the midst of the crazy days the Lord knew that these were the 3 precious children He had for us and they came exactly when He wanted them to and I can trust His plan. And I look at their beautiful faces and I realize just what a blessing they are. And what would my life be like without them?
I sure am glad I'm not the one writing the story. I wonder what else I would be missing out on.
oh, carson's shirt :) i miss your kids! and you! and your hubby! you are a wonderful momma, you are inspiring with your hands so full :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, the funny thing is we had to realize the same lessons for the opposite reason. I would have LOVED to have three in three years. But that wasn't God's plan for us - we'll have 2 in 3 years. It is so good to remember that when we're either struggling through the fortieth diaper of the day or waiting and waiting for another baby God is working his love and patience and courage into our hearts.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true Margaret and another thing I remind myself of when the days are long. Can I really complain about the chaos when I have friends that are still waiting for just one baby to hold and love? And would give just about anything for a slice of chaos? How selfish my heart can be...Glad He's working in both of our hearts to trust His plan. Thankful for your newest little blessing and can't WAIT to see his or her little face and the amazing pictures I know you'll take. :)
ReplyDeletei love, love, love this post. i just did one yesterday that said i'm not sure what life would look like without jets in my bed. seriously, i would miss all the things that have the ability to make me crazy in a day so much. precious babies ya got there!
ReplyDeleteand that was viv, jesse does not "blog" family blogs :)
ReplyDeleteI think you comments are so wise. I absolutely love the picture and comment at the beginning, especially the mask on Kyler!
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